Carbon Dating (Nerds of Paradise Book 3) Read online

  Casey came over to lean against the dresser. “You really like her, don’t you?”

  “Of course, I do,” he laughed. The very thought of seeing her soon, on an official date, with everything that implied or could imply, sent his pulse soaring. And sinking…to specific parts of his anatomy.

  “Well, I like Laura too.” Casey looked at him like she didn’t quite trust him. “So don’t go breaking her heart or doing anything stupid.”

  He combed his hair back, set the comb down, then turned to face her fully. “I’m not going to do anything stupid. I know she’s become a friend of yours. Laura is special, and I think there could really be something between us, if she could just let go of whatever is holding her back.” He paused, raising a brow. “You don’t happen to know what her hang-up is, do you?”

  Casey shrugged. “I don’t think she has much experience with guys. Which brings me to another question,” she went on before he could respond, pointing a finger at him. “Are you planning to sleep with her?”

  Heat flooded Ted’s face and neck. Worse still, his groin tightened in a way he’d rather it didn’t when he was standing face-to-face with his sister. “I don’t know,” he answered. It felt a little bit like a lie. “We’ll see how things go. If the moment seems right….”

  Casey saw right through him, narrowing her eyes. “Do not push her into anything she isn’t ready to do.”

  “You know I’d never do that,” he answered, growing more serious.

  “Do not lose your head in the moment if things start heading in that direction,” Casey went on, ignoring his protest. “Just because a girl lets you kiss her, even if you happen to be horizontal while she does, does not mean she’s given you the green light to get in her pants.”

  “I know that.” It was tough not to sound resentful while being lectured about values he held sacred, but Casey was right.

  “If things get hot and heavy, as awkward as it might be, you must ask her flat-out if you have her permission to have sex with her.”

  “Won’t it be kind of obvious?”

  “You must ask her,” Casey nearly shouted.

  “Okay, okay, Mom.” He held up his hands in surrender.

  It was a sign of just how far Casey had come in the last year that she didn’t flinch or get upset by his mention of their mom. Instead, she poked her finger into his chest. “You will be a gentleman about things, even if it means your balls end up so blue you walk funny for days.”

  “Gee, thanks, Case. That’s exactly the image I want my sister putting in my head before a big date.”

  Casey still wasn’t done. “You’re bringing condoms, right?”

  Ted blinked, the heat in his face taking on a guilty feeling. “Um….” How could he have forgotten to pick up condoms?

  Casey let out an exasperated sigh and shook her head. She turned and marched out of the room. Ted wasn’t sure what to do but stand there, wondering if he’d really thought the whole thing through, until she marched back into his room, a tell-tale silver packet in her hand.

  She presented him with the condom. “I can’t believe you were going to go out there unprepared.”

  Ted glanced to the condom as he moved to pocket it, then did a double-take. The packet was emblazoned with the Paradise Space Flight logo. He snorted. “PSF has its own brand of condoms now? Is this a side-business or something?”

  Casey’s stern, motherly expression finally broke into a goofy grin. “Scott said that Howie had them made up for the orienteering competition, but that they had a ton left over. Howie’s been handing them out to his employees by the fistful and telling them to get cozy with the locals.”

  Ted shook his head and slipped the condom in his pocket. “I’m not sure if that man is right in the head.”

  “Judging by the number of PSF employees currently dating locals, I’d say Howie’s plan is unfolding exactly how he wants it to.”

  “Good point.”

  Ted turned to give his reflection one last look. “So, do you approve? Can I go date your friend and ask politely for explicit consent to do the nasty with her, if things head in that direction and if that’s what she wants?”

  Casey softened into a smile, then gave him a hug. “Okay. Go get her, tiger.”

  They both laughed and headed for the door.

  “I hope Laura does come around,” Casey said as they headed downstairs. “You’re a great catch, Theodore Flint, even if I am a little biased in thinking that.”

  “Thanks, sis.”

  Ted gave Casey a wink before heading out the door. He just hoped that Laura agreed with his sister about how much of a catch he was.

  “No.”

  The second Laura stepped through the door and into the Clutterbuck’s unique apartment, her friend, Calliope Clutterbuck, issued the one-word assessment of, well, everything really. Her big, green eyes swept Laura from head to toe.

  “What?” Laura took a look down at the simple knit dress, leggings, and loafers she was wearing.

  “Oh, honey,” Rita Templesmith added with a disappointed sigh and a head shake. “That’s not going to work.”

  “Why not?” Laura crossed through the Clutterbuck’s front entryway, slipping off her loafers and lining them up with everyone else’s shoes before stepping into the main room. “This is one of the nicest dresses I—”

  Her voice trailed off as she looked up into the center of the two-story-high space of the Clutterbuck’s main room. It wasn’t as if she had never seen the infamous mobile before. She’d giggled over it the first time she’d been invited to the Clutterbuck’s house…and every time since. A dozen or so naked couples swirled in the air above her, engaged in all sorts of erotic activities. She’d never understood why anyone would hang such an, ah, interesting conversation piece smack in the middle of their front room, but considering her reason for being there that evening and the momentous event that she was partaking in that night, seeing the air full of couples really, really enjoying themselves was more than her frazzled nerves could handle.

  “You’ve got to have something nicer than that.” Sandy Templesmith shook her out of her increasingly hot and awkward thoughts.

  Laura peeled her eyes away from the mobile and faced her friends. “Not really. Well, I had one leftover bridesmaid’s dress from when I was in my cousin Kate’s wedding, but I’m pretty sure I took it to the thrift store when I moved out here.”

  “Then we’ve definitely got to do something,” Sandy went on. She turned to Melody and Calliope Clutterbuck, who were now standing shoulder-to-shoulder, frowning at Laura. “You guys must have something she could borrow.”

  Laura laughed. “As if I’m small enough to fit into anything of Melody’s or Calliope’s.” Her bohemian friends were sizes smaller than she was at least.

  “Mom’s probably got something that would work,” Melody said, confirming Laura’s doubts without coming right out and telling her she was chubby. Not that she was chubby. Normal, yes. Not like the wood-nymph-shaped Clutterbuck sisters or the Hollywood-svelte Templesmiths.

  “Come on,” Calliope said, hooking her arm through Laura’s and leading her deeper into the house. “We’ll raid Mom’s closet. She won’t mind. She and Dad are at a sex therapy symposium this weekend anyhow.”

  “Sex therapy symposium?” Rita expressed the incredulity that Laura was feeling. “Do I want to know what people do at something like that?”

  “It’s not as interesting as it sounds,” Melody said. She brought up the rear of their band, making Laura feel as though she’d gotten herself into something she might regret. “It’s a lot of lectures and round-table discussions.”

  “And a lot of turning in early, if I know Mom and Dad like I do,” Calliope added.

  Laura’s face went beet red. “How can you talk about your parents like that?” she whispered as they headed up the stairs to the apartment’s second floor.

  Calliope let out an ironic laugh. “Trust me, when you live with those two for as long as we have,
you become desensitized to TMI.”

  They reached the second-floor hallway, which smelled of incense and was flooded with rose light from a stained-glass window at the end of the hall. Several potted plants—like the ones that made the main room a veritable jungle—stood near the windows, giving the hall an outdoorsy feel. The plants spilled into the second-floor loft that overlooked the main room to one side of the hall, but they turned and headed for one of the open doors at the hall’s far end instead.

  Laura felt self-conscious the second she stepped into Mr. and Mrs. Clutterbuck’s bedroom. It was exotic and beautiful, with a futon bed draped with oriental scarves and teak furniture in Indian styles. There were more plants scattered around the room as well. It was hard not to gape at the large paintings of positions from the Kama Sutra all over the walls, or Mrs. Clutterbuck’s collection of marble dildos displayed on a windowsill.

  “Oh boy.” Laura pressed a hand to her stomach, trying to get her breathing and her temperature under control. It would have been a thousand times easier if she wasn’t on the verge of going out with Ted. Or if she hadn’t been thinking about the possibility of sex with Ted all day. All week, really.

  “What color?” Calliope asked from the doorway of a walk-in closet. “Mom’s got all of them.”

  “What color dildo?” Laura asked, her voice squeaky.

  Calliope laughed. “What color dress.”

  “Although I’m sure Mom wouldn’t mind if you borrowed a battery-operated-boyfriend either,” Melody added.

  Laura’s face burned hotter, and her nether-regions felt distinctly…there. “Nothing too bright for the dress.”

  “You’d look good in bright colors,” Rita contradicted her. “You’ve got the perfect skin tone for it. Look for something in a jewel tone,” she called to the closet.

  “Got it,” Melody—who had joined Calliope in the closet’s mysterious depths—answered.

  “Now get that pitiful dress off so we can try things on you,” Sandy said with a spark in her eyes.

  Laura hugged herself and backed up a step. “I’m not undressing in here.”

  “Nonsense. We’re all friends,” Rita said, coming over like she would undress Laura herself if she had to.

  “You don’t have anything we haven’t seen before,” Sandy agreed, then raised one brow. “Do you?”

  “Well, there are the shrapnel scars.” Laura let out a nervous laugh.

  Her friends stopped what they were doing and turned to her with varying degrees of surprise.

  “From Iraq,” she explained. “The IED?” She was certain she’d told them about that whole thing before.

  “We won’t look if you don’t want us to,” Sandy said, way more serious than Laura thought the situation warranted.

  She laughed. “They’re really not a big deal. I’m used to them, so stare all you want. But scars or no scars, how am I supposed to take off my clothes in a room with all that?” She lowered her voice to a scandalized hush and darted a glance from the dildos to the pictures on the wall.

  Rita and Sandy looked around, then laughed. “Yeah, it is a little, uh….”

  “Intimidating.” Rita finished her sister’s thought. “But just ignore it.”

  “Or better still, start studying,” Sandy added, helping Laura lift her dress over her head when Laura gave up and reached for the hem. “You could get some serious ideas for tonight in here.”

  “What? Ideas? No, I’m not going to get any ideas.” Laura’s face burned hot and she couldn’t meet anyone’s eyes, even as she handed her knit dress over to Sandy and pulled off her leggings. Between the room’s decorations and her friends’ sophistication, she felt about twelve years old and prepubescent. At least none of her friends seemed to fixate on the scattering of scars over her shins once she revealed them.

  “Girl, come on,” Rita waved Laura’s bashfulness away. “You’re going out with one of the hottest guys in Haskell, a guy who thinks the sun rises and sets around you.”

  “He does?” Laura blinked at her. “No, he doesn’t.” She came to her own conclusion.

  “That’s what the word on the street is,” Sandy said. “I’ve known Ted since we were kids. I even went out with him a few times.”

  The simple statement knocked the wind out of Laura’s sails. “You did?”

  “Sure, but nothing ever came of it,” Sandy went on, completely missing the impact of her revelation. “I’ve never seen Ted so enamored of anyone.”

  “Enamored,” Rita repeated, giving her sister a look. “What kind of word is that? Ted’s definitely got the hots for you,” she told Laura.

  “If I were you, I’d be taking some serious notes and coming up with a plan to stay up all night with that boy,” Sandy added.

  Laura tried to reply, but the only thing that came out of her mouth was a strangled, wordless sound. How had she let Ted talk her into this? It was one thing to lose her head after the way he’d made her feel when they kissed the other day. His arms had felt so good around her and his mouth had done things to hers that blasted every rational thought out of her mind. And he’d been so cool over the last few weeks as they worked on the fossil together. He was like chocolate: one taste and she wanted more. But with Sandy’s casual confession, it struck home that Ted could have anyone he wanted.

  So why her? Why ask out the only woman in town who had no idea what she was doing?

  “Okay, what about one of these?” Calliope and Melody stepped out of the closet holding armfuls of bright, filmy, slippery material.

  “Wow.” Laura crossed over to them, running her hands across the exotic materials with reverence. “I’ve never worn anything like any of this before.”

  “Really?” Melody made a face at her and at the dresses. “This is all pretty standard fare for us.”

  “But you guys aren’t normal,” Sandy said, making Laura glad she didn’t have to be the one to say it.

  “Try everything on and we’ll decide what looks best,” Melody said.

  The next twenty or so minutes were spent in a swirl of pink silk and royal blue chiffon, red, green, and purple cotton, and buttery fabrics in colors that defied description. As her friends helped her slide into each new confection, the slip of cool fabric over her limbs and the whisper of air against her skin had her worked up into a tantalizing but completely unfamiliar state of arousal. And Ted wasn’t even there yet.

  “That one,” Calliope said at last as Laura spun in a circle. She’d slithered into a blue-green sheath dress with a flared skirt that reached to her toes and a very low top. “That’s the money shot.” She raised her hands and pretended to take a photo of Laura.

  “I dunno.” Laura brushed her hands down her sides, staring at the not-so-subtle bulge of her breasts peeking out of the v-neck. “I don’t usually show this much skin.”

  “That’s exactly the point,” Melody said. She walked around and pulled Laura’s long hair back, holding it up off her shoulders.

  “That’s even better,” Sandy said. “We’ll pin your hair up in a fancy do to help show off your shoulders.”

  “My shoulders?” The more Laura looked down at herself, the more her nipples showed up against the front of the dress. It made her want to giggle and pose in front of a mirror and run screaming, all at the same time. “I’m really not sure about this, guys.”

  “You look amazing, trust us,” Calliope said.

  “And you’ll look even more amazing once we do your hair and make-up,” Sandy added.

  “Oh, I never wear make-up,” Laura protested.

  “You will tonight,” Melody informed her. She gestured for them to move back into the hall. “Next stop, the loft.”

  Trepidation made Laura’s heart feel alternately heavy as lead and light as air as she moved with her friends out of the bedroom and down the hall to the loft. The whole thing was loads of fun…except that it was serious. Her date with Ted was fast becoming her sexy date with Ted. Talk about not being sure she was ready. Only, judging by the
tingly feeling zipping through her, maybe she was. The silk of the dress caressed her limbs in a distracting way. At least she was wearing underwear, otherwise she would spend the whole night worrying about wet spots where she sat.

  “You sit on the chair there and we’ll be your hair and make-up crew.” Melody directed her to a stool to one side of the room.

  Laura sat where she was told to and let her friends fuss over her, having their own kind of fun. They were totally into playing dress-up, and who was she to spoil their fun? She was almost at the point of relaxing when she realized that the direction she was facing and the level of the loft put her at eye level with the mobile. She stared, transfixed, as the happy couples drifted and circled through the air in perfect, orgasmic bliss.

  “Do you think it’s okay to have sex with someone you’re not deeply in love with?” she blurted before she could stop herself.

  Her friends all paused what they were doing to stare at her.

  “Uh, yeah?” Melody answered, as though it were obvious.

  “Sure.” Rita shrugged and went back to curling her hair with a curling iron. “Why not?”

  “Sex is good no matter who you’re having it with,” Calliope said.

  “I wouldn’t go that far.” Rita pointed the curling iron at her. “I’m not getting funky with any random guy off the street.”

  “Oh, well, yeah, random guys are a different story,” Calliope agreed. “But if it’s something you both want to do, then go for it.”

  “We’re a little biased, though,” Melody admitted. “Sex was never taboo in our house.”

  “It was in ours,” Sandy admitted as she started pinning up the curls Rita had already made.

  “Not any more so than in any other American household,” Rita argued with her.

  Sandy paused and rested her weight on one hip. “Did you tell Mama what you did after your first time? Or the entire time you were dating Brian Pickering?”

  “Hell, no.” Rita laughed. “Mama is old school.”

  “Which just proves my point.” Sandy nodded. She paused. “What about you, Laura? Did you confess all to your mom after your first time?”